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8.30.2005I attended the much talked about Next Magazine "Out There Awards" last night. Obviously, I have a bit of an inside look at the whole thing and so I am going to be as objective as possible. It was sort of like watching a slow moving train wreck. Tip#1 for a successful awards party: a. make the VIP tickets look different from the NON VIP tickets. b. remind the door people that just because someone says they are a writer for Spin it doesn't mean they actually are. We got to Crobar at 7:45 - the party started at 7- and there were no VIP wristbands left. Since my gf is one of the art directors at the magazine (for one more day) and was clever enough to bring her business cards, we didn't have any trouble getting in to the bar or the VIP area. Tip#2 for a successful awards party: do not have more people in the VIP area than on the floor. the floor area was more comfortable than the VIP area, but since the people we were with would not have been able to get back upstairs (even though he is far more famous than any of the mooks that were actually IN the VIP area) Tip#3 for a successful awards party: make sure there are more than 3 bottles of vodka in the VIP bar. There was an alleged open bar in the VIP area. we had one cocktail when we got there and then they ran out of vodka. We stood on line so long, I forgot that i wasn't waiting on line for "Batman!- The Ride" so I wasn't terribly disappointed when they said there was only Bud light left at the bar. Someone handed me one, which i sniffed, stuck my finger in, sniffed again, said "hey!! This isn't grey goose!!" and gave to some passing straight girl. We were more VIP at the Phoenix on saturday night. Tip#4 for a successful awards party: keep the fucking puppet off the stage. i was beyond the saturation point with that puppet-fister joe covax I think that its really effing creepy to bring back a dead homos famous puppet side-kick because you can't bring a dog to bars with you to pick up guys. The awards themselves were corny but they could have been fun if all the other "good hosting" details had been attended to. and can someone tell me what that singing was all about? Apparently that boy was washing Liz's hair at Roberto Novo's salon last month and I can tell that hes been practicing singing ever since then. the drunk straight girls from Long Island are still a very serious mystery. Logo was there and since we are fabulous and have LOTS of 'gaymous' friends (coughcough) and my gf is a rockstar we were hanging out in the interview area in order not to have to watch the slow painful death of the party. In the process we were asked to do interviews about music. what we listened to, who we like, what new music we think everyone should know about...that such. and we had the pleasure of having John Polly do the interviews. he asked me with a straight face what girl musician i would throw my panties on stage for. i think i blushed and said "no one. i hate girls" but i also told them that if i was a gay boy i would be in love with Justin Trantor because he is the Pamela Anderson of pop music. He's hot and he has a good sense of humor about what he does and someday he will have her tits. I promise you that." i also told Logo there was no such thing as gay music only gay musicians (that was really good soundbite -if i don't say so myself) apparently they are doing something like a gay "120 Minutes" im not sure if the music is all supposed to be gay or just what the gays listen to (that would be a horror of a show) or if its just about new hip music maybe they are trying to get the gays to get with the program and leave Kylie Minogue to the 12 year old straight girls for once and for all. then it was off to the cock with the boys for some real VIP treatment. unfortunately the puppet was there too. for my next installment: 101 Ways to Kill Madame .: posted by landry 11:57 AM
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