[ MOUFA ] [ SOUNDS ] [ STORIES ] [ LINKS ] [ EMAIL ] [ ARCHIVE ] [ BIO ]

7.25.2005

7.19.2004
my heart and brain are a tangled mess.
they are each split in half and working from different corners of the world.
i am COMPLETELY denying what is ahead of me this weekend.
I told jhhg that i was sure i would survive but it was going to suck harder than anything i have experienced so far.
the part that is taking over and telling me "OH!!! forget that silly thing that you have to deal with...loook at THIS fun, shiny,amazing, distracting thing!!!"
is the frosting
it probably the thing that will keep me afloat in the days following.
it is probably the thing that has been keeping me sane with this work related MESS the past few weeks
it is the thing that makes me not want to leave my bed in the morning.


and i am looking up at the sky and whispering
thank you.

************************************************************************************

well it came and went
the 23rd.
its one year since i held that big devildog in my arms while he died.
i blamed myself
i sat there the whole time thinking
"i am doing this to him- I am killing my own dog"
there are still days when i cant believe that hes not here getting older and crankier.
he was a fucking character.
and a ham for the camera
i love you my demon
wherever you are

.: posted by landry 1:36 AM