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6.20.2005

i have 2 big time markers coming up.
at the end of july it will be one year since i had to put the big boy down.
i have called Breakfast "Moufa" at least 3 times this week.
i started freelancing with someone i used to work with years ago, who i was close with and who knew Mouf well. She asked me how he was the other day. and what came flying out of my mouth even shocked me.

Alison: so how's Moufa?
Landry: dead

and i almost immediately started to cry.

she appologized profusely for bringing it up.
but she couldn't know.
it just reminded me of how close to the surface that sort of stuff sits.
i had him cremated.
jbl had the ashes sent to her house, knowing that i woudl be incapable of handling the delivery of that box to my house so soon after.
she still has the box.

next month i am going to take them to liberty park
which is on the hudson on the brooklyn side.
i used to take him there just about every day in the summers to swim
he loved the water and i couldnt keep him out of it. so i would throw a stick and he would run and jump into that water for HOURS after that effing stick.

i really really miss him
still

the other big time marker is the end of the quasi-hetero era.
i moved out on 4th of july 1999.
6 years
fuck.

i miss moufa a lot.

.: posted by landry 12:33 AM

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