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3.14.2005

i love that when i wake up our feet are touching
i am always clammy and sticky in the bed with her
its only where our bodies touch though
this has never been a concern of mine
either because i wasn't sleeping that closely to the other person,
or maybe the chemistry wasn't 'just so'
but
my leg
outside the blanket is cold
and the curl of my hip
where wrapped around her ass
is sticky as if it were july
so in our sleeping states
we determine that it is too hot too sleep entwined in such a way
but i wake up with my foot sandwiched between hers

yesterday she was told that she 'could change' if she 'wanted to'
"you are a girl you could hide'
she was flustered and surprised
because it was her mom saying it

"why the FUCK would i want to HIDE?!?!?"

and of course i had to put my 2 cents in

"hey YEAH!!! we could send you to one of those places where they teach you to be straight!!!
i'm sure that would work!!"

so we had a mini debate,
nothing heated
but god was brought into the mix
my reply
"my mother's answer to that has always been "god doesn't make mistakes. and you are how you are'"

people love to think that they know about god and his entire inner monologue.

i must note that there was nothing hateful in the way her mother said it
it was more like she just didn't understand and thought maybe it was that easy.
and it was the comment of a mother 20 years ago who was more worried for how hard it would be on her child than disapointed or upset.
it was that moment that something dawned on me and it all sort of clicked.
they thought maybe it was a phase for her
that after her last relationship she would have 'grown out of it'
and found a boyfriend.
instead they got me


i saw Monster for the first time ever last night.
but i need time

.: posted by landry 12:00 PM

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