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3.06.2005

i dreamt that my father told me that he loved liz
because she was "no bullshit"
then she told me that she liked him for the same reason
my father also confided,
with a grin,
that he loved her hair

then
the bed blew straight up to the ceiling
a blast that rendered her insides pulp
there was blood
and a hole in her middle
and i screamed and tried to call 911
but i couldn't speak
and i croaked into the phone
to a woman who did not understand
that i loved her
and that i didn't want her to die in my arms
and i told the woman on the phone that someone needed to get there fast
that i didn't know how i was going to on
and that i couldn't bear to watch her die
she thought i was crazy and asked if i was seeing someone about it
i told her to fuck off and she hung up on me
my girl was dying and she FUCKING HUNG UP ON ME
i called again
this time from my cell phone so she wouldn't know it was me and she would get me some help
(for fuck's sake!)
it was a different woman
and i still couldn't speak and i couldn't find the address to tell them where to find me
and my girl
and her guts
and i was desperate
and i was croaking
i heard rustling from the bed and she was trying o get up
and i ran from the phone to the bed and i told her not to move
and that she couldn't die on me and that she should stay still
and i screamed
and she woke me up
and said "its ok baby its not real. what happened?"
i started to tell her through real tears, half asleep.
and she fell asleep before i could finish.

.: posted by landry 11:19 PM

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