3.29.2004
i think (mmm sometimes..) that i am coming back into my life.
yeah
pretty sure have been living someone elses life for about a year now.
for the love of god
i do not even OWN a pair of jeans
but
i now have 6 pairs of high heel shoes.
and im trying to sort out what was me 'before', what was me 'after that', what i took back from 'before' and what i am trying to leave behind from 'after that'.
i think i have always liked heels.
sometimes
if its not too cold.
i have been drinking too much and too often.
so i can't really wear the heels.
i have 4 sets of percentages of the time i spend and they have shifted wildly and i think i might like my old percentages better.
so im trying to start to reconcile them.
before:
75% normal friends who have dinner, a glass or 2 of wine and are in bed by 11 everynight except for special occasions and that would ONLY fall on a friday or saturday night.
15% staying home with S/O doing chores, watching TV
10% acting out like an MF. drinking, showing a LOT of cleavage and generally acting like a slut.
after that:
90% staying home with S/O doing chores, watching TV
10% normal friends who have dinner, a glass or 2 of wine and are in bed by 11 everynight except for special occasions and that would ONLY fall on a friday or saturday night.
now:
85% acting out like an MF. drinking, showing a LOT of cleavage and generally acting like a slut.
10% staying home with S/O doing chores, watching TV
5% normal friends who have dinner, a glass or 2 of wine and are in bed by 11 everynight except for special occasions and that would ONLY fall on a friday or saturday night.
i am falling apart.
i had no fewer than 4 people say,in a span of less than 2 full days:
"I do not know how you are keeping this up. I woudl NOT be able to do it"
vegetable korma was almost my demise on Wednesday night.
i had to take 4 benedryl to keep my eyes from swelling shut.
Mark: "your body is trying to tell you something"
landry: mmm ya think?
Mark: yeah and that thing you wrote about walking home was the best thing you've ever written. you should take some more benedryl"
so i think im going to try to have percentages that look a little more like this:
75% staying home with S/O, showing cleavage, doing chores, watching TV and generally acting like a slut
20% with normal friends who have dinner, a glass or 2 of wine and are in bed by 11 everynight except for special occasions and that would ONLY fall on a friday or saturday night.
5% acting out like an MF.
just so you know what we are getting into,
this means far fewer saucy stories for you
.: posted by landry 1:32 PM
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