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2.16.2004i finally fixed the wagon of the gremlin that was living in blogger that decided to pre emptively post 'the story' that was a first draft and had no business being up there at all the show was PHENOMENAL I haven't had a chance to process and since i am a dyke and that is what we "do" i might have to repost with some of my other favorite stories. but to start chris, and andy (whose site link does not seem to be working) are logistical giants. I am so humbled to have been asked to be part of this great event. everyone was amazing and so much fun. and where else could you pay $5 and be laughing non stop for 2 hours?!?! The place was packed and they let in as many people as the possibly could and something like 1/3 of the people were sitting on the floor. i met up with amos, jbl and john for drinks before hand and we talked and drank and i tweezed my eyebrows and drank absolute mandarin and seltzer with lime (which is my new favorite cocktail). i about shit my pants when i got there and saw a line out the door. CRAP!!! thats a LOT of people and at least 3 of the readers had bottles of whiskey.. if it was good enough for james joyce, then hell yeah i will have some! i felt a lot better once the readings started. and can i tell you that i NEVER expected that the company would be as good as all this. these are some seriously great writers. i do not have time to read as many blogs as i would like. and my link list has been sorely neglected. i am resolving right this minute (and NOT waiting till next january 1) that i am going to try to update my links at least every 2 weeks. so im going to try to do it today. i loved all of the stories but Brian's made me nearly pee my pants. brilliant not to mention that he looks creepily like one of my favorite ex bf's the other great performance/reading of the night was Josh. fuck what a nerdy boy i love it. so here it is...in its proper and correct form: im a fucking genius. no. really. for the first time ever when reaching under her pillow and feeling it under there I decide that I KNOW HOW THIS SHIT WORKS. I mean how hard could it be? boys do it for god sake I should not only be able to figure it out but even do it with a little style. im a quick study I learn fast at least thats what all my work reviews say my boss is wrong a lot but definitely NOT about THAT. so I fuck around with buckles and straps and I get it fastened tight. thank god shes taking FOREVER in the shower because while I am smart, im not an effing engineer. now I have done some embarrassing things in my cute little sexual history like the time I tripped over my underwear trying to strip for someone or the time I fell off the bed trying to tighten a badly tied knot (and I could go on because really? There is more but I haven?t given up hope of being cool some day) this ? no this was in a whole new category of dumb even for me I, at least expected a bit of a fight. I was even looking forward to it you know where I get all brave and cool and say ?How come YOU always get to wear it?!?!? I want a turn!!? and she fights with me... "um, what EXACTLY do you think you are doing?" or a little "I don't THINK so." Action then I take it off but, to my shock...and horror I got "ok..." SHIT!!! FUCK!!!! SHIT!! Now what? OK I can do this but... Where do my legs go? On the inside of hers?!!? Fuck that! Im getting sheet burns on my knees and im DEFINITELY not getting anywhere. Outside hers? Oh My God that is HORRIBLE like a boy peeing sitting down I KNOW!!!........... DOGY STYLE! I must have been delirious because THAT was fun telling my barely a girl girlfriend that I think that this would all go a lot more smoothly if she will let me fuck her doggy style Again to my horror and after MUCH face making she says ok WHAT!?!?!? And in my deliriousness I think, "THATS GREAT!!!!" YEEEEHAW I am the pimp D-A-Double D-Y having the time of my life sippin hen until I notice that she is bored to tears so like the good dyke that I am I ask her if shes ok she promptly moves up looks at me and says "yeah...but I would be a lot better if you would stop acting like a 14 year old boy" .: posted by landry 5:18 PM
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