[ MOUFA ] [ SOUNDS ] [ STORIES ] [ LINKS ] [ EMAIL ] [ ARCHIVE ] [ BIO ]

9.10.2003

i am back to work and half sleepy/dopey and working away with my headphones on and at some point realized that i had been sitting staring at my computer screen at practically nothing for some time with the realization that i run TOWARDS things in fear and not AWAY from things.

Just like that.

me
like a bull, charging.
i am petrified to commit to things as simple as dinner plans.
so i decide to walk into the depths of and sit (indian style) in the midst of situations which require the most committment a person could muster.

and

i met you by accident when you were slightly almost otherwise unengaged
i was barely off duty

the year was like a tornado destroying everything in its path.
there was only so much not giving in that you can do when you are so close that you can feel it
in the back of your throat and on your skin and in your hands and in your chest
it in our chests
(instead of)
and in our lust so that it didn't become too real.
this beautiful compartmentalization that keeps us from talking about your girlfriend
(or who im fucking)
when we are out having dinner across the table, acting normal, like we wouldn't be tearing up NYC if only...
but 'what if' ripped it out of our chests and into the light where it wasn't so pretty.

now in my headphones, heavy and concrete and real and sad and over.



.: posted by landry 1:42 PM

Comments: Post a Comment