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9.23.2003

everyone: why doesn't melanie move to NY? it would be easier.
landry: no actually it wouldn't. for a million reasons. none of them having ANYTHING to do with my convenience.

(hopefully i won't get in trouble for this....)

she is sensitive.
not in the simple way. in the environmental way.
her surroundings really contribute to her well being.
NY is a hard place to live if you LOVE it.
stepping over homeless people, puke on the sidewalks and the lovely aroma of garbage in the summer.
that is obviously the hard stuff and when you love ny all of that is just part of the deal. its a big city and we have big city problems. I certainly do not say that she couldn't handle it. of course she could. but if it is going to effect her more than being out of ny will effect me, then that seems a pretty simple solution.

but more importantly

i think that she is pretty damn proud of where she is. and i think its taken a while to get there.
she moved there by herself, with no family and virtually no friends.
she moved from somewhere she had lived her whole life and knew everyone in town.
she is pretty quiet and keeps to herself. so she does not make friends as easily as i do.
she is finally starting to settle in and make friends and have a life that is completely hers.

i have all that already.
its not going anywhere.

all this dawned on me this weekend.
her rugby coach grabbed me on saturday when i went to pick her up at practice.
he wanted to tell me that i had been such a good influence on her because she was finally coming out of her shell and playing really well and happier and more focused.

i laughed and i agreed that she was all of those things.

but i don't think that its me.
i think its getting comfortable.
i think its feeling like a grown up and feeling in charge.
and shes just getting started.
and i couldn't imagine asking her to give that up right now.



.: posted by landry 5:17 PM

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