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6.04.2003i feel so helpless today. Im sure it will pass. it started with these 2 really fucked up dreams last night one was about a monkeys guts pourning out. it wasn't life threatening (?!?!?) but all of its food was coming out whole. LOTS of spaghetti with marinara, whole dead snakes, small alligators, toy figurines. i was starting to panic and someone, i am not sure who, came along and very calmly said, "all you have to do its put it all back in". as i watched her in awe, she put all the guts and food and objects back inside the monkey. the second dream was far more urgent and scary because it has roots in real life. E is a boy i was friends with for some years. I lost him in the divorce. He was non-verbally forbidden to talk to me after i left. He is positive and does (or DID) not take care of himself. it used to drive me crazy and i would bitch him out constantly about it. he would smack my ass and tell me not to be such a downer. i would laugh and let it go. i haven't seen or talked to him in almost 5 years. last night i dreamt that my cell phone rang and his name showed up on my screen, all in caps. (i am not sure why that was so important to me at the time, but i guess that it is somewhat important that ALL the names in my cell phone are all L/C, even the first letter) i picked it up and there was no one there, so i just redialed and i got the hospital and i automatically asked if he was there and they wouldn't or couldn't tell me. so, i was going to write today about the joys of cat bathing or how all the Ms. Universe contestants looked white. maybe later. .: posted by landry 9:26 AM
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